what a lovely day

"Father God i pray that you keep a hold of my friend. I am so thankful that you keep on taking me back even though i fail so many times. I thank you that you always forgive me whenever I rebel against you. I know i have a lot of shortcomings and flaws still. That even though i think i'm all right on the outside, you know how I truly am on the inside and out. I thank you that you see me as how I can be and not as how I am right now. Thank you that i can experience your unconditional love and that I pray I can keep my eyes on you at all times. For me to ask you first whenever I face a problem."

Since the beginning of this fasting, im so thankful that the devotion has been allign with what I have to do. THis one month theme at church of spritual discipline is no coincidence at all. Im so glad i have a guidance from God's word. I didn't get to read today's devo but when i was in school during break time i got to crack open the bible for a few minutes. I asked God which chapter to open and he lead me to 2 Corinthians 6. I read the part about not mixing yolk with unbelievers. wow... that was such a strong wake up call...

I don't have to elaborate.. but at where I am at right now, I know i don't want to commit myself to a person until they have a strong foundation in Him. I'm not asking for much but if I'm going to spend an eternity with that person, i'm entitled to request certain things to God from that person no?? hehe... yes handful I am!!! I am handful for a reason. I don't want to settle, i want to receive the best from God. I already know all these values but now it's time for me to actually use it and not just throw it all out the window.

i got some visions today from Him.. i'm not sure though if it is my own imagination or if it's from Him... i still need to pray about it. I guess for me to really accept God's truth, i have to be willing to let go of the fear of getting hurt and really let God be apart of everything in my life, not just some of it. That's the hardest thing to do. I say in the morning that I hand over the pen to Him, but in certain instances my behavior is still to take control and just think on my own. This phase of my life really teaches me to come to Him first and just wait on Him. I'm finding more peacefulness in my thought life and even though i still have my moments when i get all over the place but I'm learning to calm down and just take it easy.

still to this day, country songs make me laugh esp the song that goes "life is good again" and somethin bout his a** in the sand and beer in the somthin... hhaah can't remember the words.

like the tunes and the lyrics though. just made me smile cause it always reminds me of the person who shared the song with me! =) wow.. never knew how deep country song was. gotta go to a country music concert one of these days, bet it's gonna be lots of fun.

other things i want to do on a side note:
DISNEYLAND.. happiest place on earth
Sea World
The mountains, Asuza canyon and Arcadia =)
uhh sushi restaurants
uhh soon fashion shows for Hello Kitty's aniv. and Betty Johnson exhibition on Nov 14th!!

sigh so many events.. so little time and hw to do =) i wish i was super woman and get to do all my projects done in one day! haah. so delusional.

anyways....

Got to hang out with my friend who's technically on a leave from the army... somtin went wrong with her paperwork or somthin. sucks for her. seriously. didn't know there was a lollicup at Pomona so she took me there... my chiropractor fixed my back and loosen it after i was done with school, that was a good feeling... felt drained after a long's day of school, sewing class and going to the chiropractor..

got to go to Borders to get a gift for my friends b day. Forgot how much i like bookstore. It's so full of books i say i want to read but will prob never will. Saw some sewing books that i liked, egh pretty expensive too!!

anyways wanted to watch a movie after going to the bookstore but i was beat already! then got to see Ugly Betty, or the last 15 minutes of it. I missed watching that show, still one good show that sorts of portrays the fashion world. I hope that's wat it looks like when i've arrived in my career path! I pray that it will look like that!

oii i think day to day, is a brand new day and even though i miss him sometimes, I'm starting to develop endurance and persevere!! never knew i could come to this place but i know God is helping me. Still have to surrender the future cause I don't know what is going to happen a month from now or even a year from now. Only God can change people. Only He Himself can change the bad in me and turn it upside down and inside out to glorify Him..
i think just ramblin on now cause im pooped out!
nite nite. ... good to know everythings under Control and in God's hand!
=) <3