the first day of blogging

so i have never blogged like this in my life.. well there was that phase of blogging before i signed up with myspace and facebook but i forgot what the program is called..

anyways.. my day have been a pretty long one.. to think about it.. since JAnuary 6th, my weeks have been full of events to say the least. It's been filled with problems, challenges, sadness, happiness and gladness.

God is soo good. To think back about what happened with my car accident, it's still a painful memory but I can honestly say that in my life GOd exists and helped me through my problems. I was going through such a griefing moment but i couldn't discern that specific feeling becauce i had a lot of other things in my mind. !st week after the accident i think i just felt all drugged up from the medicine i took for my cold and the effects after having a ct scan. They injected me with a high dose of iodine at a very quick amount of time. it was such a shock to my body that i felt the whole week after the accident, my body just needed to recoupe to get it back into its normal mode.

then 3rd week of january came.. welll starting monday.. i had to wake up super early at 5 ishh and couldnt sleep the nite before or the nights before that too..

i guess my chest really hurt and when i sleep on my back, the gravity just created more pressure that it was all i can feel when i lay down. ummm. so yeah that week was terrible but I just held on to GOd's promises. He was trying to teach me a lesson but me being me, traumatized from the accident, having painful whiplash side effects, and just stressing out about if i could fail my class that i took last year...etc.. was just streesing my brain out even more.. if you were to diagnose me, i think i was in the borderline of craziness..

so that week, i read devotions day and nite. I journalled so much becuase i got so much out of devotions just from my day to day activites and i needed to realease all those thoughts i was thinking at the time..the devotion theme for that week was to GIVE the BEST..
meanind GOd required from me that I just give my best. i don't have to give my most perfect work because then i would just produce the same quality of work over and over and never improve...

that week was such a revelation of why i am the way i am right now.. ok so .. i found out.. my external perfectionist image was a character trait that my dad has and it passed down to me i guess.. i learned from him to give a perfect result whenever i do anything just by his enforcement of words since i was small i guess.. i don't really know..
the reason i found out was becuase i heard my mom talking about my dad and how he always wants things to be perfext.. lol.. so the light bulb came on in my head..
second.. hmm i like stability cause ok,.. my parents being the leader of the church.. my dad's a pastor and my mom of course the pastor's wife, crazy things would just come up about the church while i go about my day like doing hw, going to school or just concentrating on my own thing. i felt like it just disrupted and created a tension/stress to my thoughts cause the way my mom would say those church problem is by having a loud tone of voice and with worriness..

of course me being a kid, i react to what my mom would say.. so i tend to stress out too and start thinking.. hmm so what can be fixed regarding those problems or why are those people so crazy like that, that they do foolish things.. etc...

aww also God was teaching me that cleanliness equals healtiness.. haha does that makes sense?
i basicly cleaned everything in my room and moved all the furniture and redecorated everything. i found out the reason my lymph node was swollen was because of a cat that got trapped in my room and it had left something in my closet that made me allergic to the air and evrything in my room. my dog peed in my room too when i let him in and i couldn't figure out the exact place so i had to clean and steam the carpet like 2-3 times for a week.

yeah i really feel like He wants me to repent and is really helping me to repent but also clean me out spiritually and physically (my room).

so He is really working on me inside and outside.. cause whatever is inside me will be reflected on the outside. I can say this week that I am really thankful that GOd cleaned me out and taught me a very important lesson starting at the beginning of the year.... so
i pray for all you guys who are reading this too, to really be aware what GOd is trying to do in each of our lifes. This is a really crucial time in our lifetime to seriously wake up, get up from our slumber and rise to the challenge and calling God has set for us!!!!

He really did woke me up of my sins of my bad habits so that I can do His will, be able to obey God whole heartedly..
pheww.. that was a lot of stuff.. to talk about.. more sharing to come..
from this week's devotion. "Blessed People"...!!!!