So.. if you were wondering why I chose that Title.. just read below. This post is me venting and putting everything I am feeling down on a virtual paper...I am not trying to talk or gossip about a person or anything like that... this is just me and this virtual paper.. one on one...
I have had a couple of interesting weeks to say the least. I don't like it sometimes but sometimes it's a learning process....
Tonite I went to school. I drove to the highest level of the parking structure at cpp and just parked there. I needed to get away from everything and just get away to think.
you know I was really tired today from lack of sleep. I got to check on my FAFSA at school, finished making a dress, and started making another dress for a masquarade ball. It's going along fine.. just need to experiment on sewing and what else I need to put on the dress to make it look stunning.
ANyways tonite was the combine cell at church and a pastor name Dr. Allan Meyer was the guest speaker. He talked about sexual discipleship.. woohhww.. crazy topic right. I knew God was goona teach me somthing about relationship tonite... On the drive there God already reminded me that I was not doing somthing right in front of his eyes regarding my friendship issues. So i obeyed in my heart and promised to not do it... but i still doubt God and asked him what is so wrong with the things I am doing right now... boy.. He answered my question through the sermon tonite.
Well God was dealing with healing from my past trauma and I learned about the spiritual aspect that happens when sex happens and the physical aspect of it. This was called Sexual Theology.
It was very interesting and eye opening. i love learning something new to a topic that has been known to the world for the longest time. I was soo excited to learn about this cause I know it would help me in my future.
The sermon was all good and I felt God was really there and present. All was done and over with regarding cell....
so i was feeling good.. wow I got to experience God and all that good feeling.
Then I talked to my friend.
it all went downhill from here.
ok so I guess i learned to use the resources I buy for those specific things I said I was going to use them for. Not that i used the materials I got for other things.. but it was just God's reminder to me to not make a mistake on this part when I do sew things and make things...
that mite not makes sense but eehh. i dont care.
then well.. another topic made me frustated. i guess my response is reflection of how i would respond to my mom when she corrects me so straight off the bat, I already have a bad response to anything that I would talk about.
I guess i was just fed up that i was always being told what to do and how i should dictate my relationship with my other friend.
ehh i don't know.
i had to release all this so i went to the top of the parking lot at cpp.. and broke down.
walked around and saw the phillipino kids practicing dancing and breaking. with some pretty loud music.
that was cool.
it's so good to get awasy and spend sometime with myself. ...
that's all for now.
sad day. but God turns mourning to dancing!! He has lifted my soul.
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
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