THe end of a new Beginning

YEsterday was very unexpected again.
TO hear those words was very surprising and comforting.
i've never felt like this for anyone else and i pray that i wont ever have to ever again... or to go through with it with another guy.
one person is enough for me.

i pray that God will lead the both of us to find the answer that we need to know.
I know that one day we will be able to glorify God with whatever talents, plans, and relationships that we build.
i've never experienced in one quarter twice in a row fasting from a person.
it's wonderful and suckky but I know in the end God will work things out.
It's coming to pass what God told me... Watch me make all things new Emma. It's all coming true. I'm seeing it through my very own eyes and it feels so surreal.
I just pray that God will push His will in my life so that I can obey.. walk onto the route He has set for me.

I thank God that I can experience His love more and more and be an impact to the world. I f I have to go through this as a form of testimony also, i will take it head on and wait patiently till once again i can be with you =)

Thank you for the memories and for your love. Dec 15
will be like tomorrow...it won't take long at all to wait for you... you are worth it to wait for only a month. i pray for more things to come =)... more wonderful things, more lessons, more tests and more wisdom to make sense of God's will in our life.

see you soon <3 chubie bunnie

jason mraz

"If It Kills Me"
Hello, tell me you knowYeah,
you figured me out
Something gave it away
It would be such a beautiful moment
To see the look on your face
To know that I know that you know now
And baby that's a case of my wishful thinking
You know nothing
Well you and I
Why, we go carrying on for hours on end
We get along much better
Than you and your boyfriend
[Chorus:]
Well all I really wanna do is love you
A kind much closer than friends use
But I still can't say it after all we've been through
And all I really want from you is to feel me
As the feeling inside keeps building
And I will find a way to you if it kills me
If it kills me
How long, can I go on like this,
Wishing to kiss you,
Before I rightly explode?
This double life I lead isn't healthy for me
In fact it makes me nervous
If I get caught I could be risking it all
Cause maybe there's a lot that I miss
In case I'm wrong
[Chorus]
If I should be so bold
I'd ask you to hold my heart in your hand
I'd tell you from the start how I've longed to be your man
But I never said I would
I guess I'm gonna miss my chance again
All I really wanna do is love you
A kind much closer than friends use
But I still can't say it after all we've been through
And all I really want from you is to feel me
As the feeling inside keeps building
And I will find a way to you if it kills me
If it kills me
If it kills meI think it might kill me
And all I really want from you is to feel me
Yeah, the feeling inside keeps building
I'll find a way to you if it kills me
If it kills meIt might kill me

Veteran's Day

The previous months' have been times of unexpectency.
I never thought that i would be so involved in things that I was not expecting.

anyways.. sometimes i feel like why oh why am i having such a hard time just interacting with my own mother and other people's acquaintances.
it makes me so uncomfortable and angry sometimes that people judge me a certain way, think about me how I actually am not.
it's my pride that gets in the way and to want to say to them how dare them talk about me in those kinds of ways.... i am not like that, but people will still have their own opinions and i can't control them.

so as for now and forever, all that really matters is how God thinks of me and that should be the only thing that matters to me. The positive thing that i can see from all of this is that God wants to develop a thicker skin in me so that once I get into my calling, I wont take other people's criticisim to heart. Everything does work out for the good of those who love Him, to those who works according to His good purposes.
I love God and God loves me... That should be the only thing that matters.

an ephipheny

omg.. man to think of how rediculous things have been, i can't help wonder what if I don't put pressure on myself to find out about the future and keep on asking God for an answer..
life would be soo much happier and less stressful..
the two pimples on my face already shows how stressed out i was..

I think i'll just stop making my own imagination of how my future will be like and ask God to download his hopes and dreams for me in my heart. i don't want to be dissapointed for chasing things that is not meant for me.

As for all the heat and the warning i've been getting, i realized they are doing it cause they care about me and they don't want me to be in a predicament where everything i've worked for is thrown out down the drain. fo reals.. like wat happend to my CR class..
that was sort of a dissapointment but I can already see Romans 8:28 work in this instance.

i pray that i can keep on seeking Him and find the Truth and comfort in Him before all this ends.

happy tuesday

Today I woke up at 8:45 am..

i just reset my new phone.. and i realized after looking at another clock that my phone was set an hour earlier..

so i woke up way super early than i usually do.

hmm. got ready and brought my brownies that i made for the club meeting today.

had enough time to get milk cause i woke early. God's way of getting me finish all my errands before sschool i guess.

aii. spanish. i loath spanish. must study harder in that class.. dang it.

so i got a call before class from this lady name Lupe.. I texted some people about my change of number and i guess someone i knew don't have their number anymore and instead this lady had it. she asked me if i knew someone... couldn't make out her words.. but she works at a day care place.. Kids care or somthin.. and i had to ask.. so "are u hiring" ahah.

she laughed. asked me if i knew her co wprker..

i guess her co worker was the key in getting the job.

i just thought it was kinda weird we carried on a conversation even though we didn't know each other.. that was fun!!

wooho. i was only late 5 minutes or less to class.. that is a major progress going to spanish class!!!

anym ways.

thought of skippin class (the lab) cause got soo sleepy.. but stuck around cause teacher was gonna explain an exercise the class had to do.

hmm.. so got home.. after running errands wanting to buy micro sd for my phone.. didn't find the right store.. thought of going to frys' next to me madre's office..

asked God wat to do and he said to spend time with me familia and show them love.. i was thinking. oh no.. are they gonna yell at me and that's my opportunity to show love to them?? dang.. man..

turns out i came home, saw my dad leaving to pick my mom home.. he left a bit late than usual and asked me to drive him cause he was sleepy.. heah. he takes naps during the day time like me... when i get a chance.

so that was GOd's divine time.

so i found out the car my dad bought is for me..

HE just said that he bought the car for him cause he wanted to surprise me or somthin?? i don't no.. he is odd sometimes.

dang. the car is much more comfortable compared to the corolla but me no likely the color so much..

gotta play up with car decals/sticker to bring the muted purple color up!!!

oii thought about repainting it until i found out the cost of the paint job.. that's out of the pics.

sighh..

anywyas.. off to do hw.. danger is in cpp studying.. maybe i'll swing by and study at school with him, if I don't feel lazy.. i really should go if not i wont get anything done at home.. =)

Happy mundai...!!

He he.
woke up got a phone call from me madre.. They're getting me a '94 honda civic. woho. a car that they're going to buy just fo me!!! Finally.. no handme downs,.. no . aw she gotta use that car cause she messed up the other car.
woho.
haha.

I just hope im going to do well on this midterm.. teacher a hard core korean lady!!! hope this class's test is not as hard as her other class..
yelp anyways. woho.. monday!! a good start! yeah..
Praise God.

updated: 2:47 am Nov 3rd.

oh man so i found out, actually my dad did not buy a car fo me.. it's for him... good thing cause i don't really like the color of the car he got. it's like this light tinted purple coloer..ehh.

hm after i was done with school, my dad asked me to go with him to pick up his car since he left it at the place he bought the car at.
Went towards Fullerton area and thought i would swing by this pancake house, has yummy pancake.. oh but I came too late. It closed at 2pm.. i was sad and hungry so i decided to find yougurtland in fullerton.
I finally found it after thinking that I got lost. as i was walking to yougurtland in the parking lot, i thought i would go to pinkberry's right across and try that place instead of yogurtland..
I saw tokidoki cups and spoon and that won my heart!! so yougurtland it is... too bad it didn't turn out great. I didn't really l.ike the flavors.. and thought i should've just gone to the pinkberry one.

anyways. took annie to see Johnnie to get a phone!! wooho i like me sexy phone and didn't have to pay anythin, got a discount, and hopefully paying the same for this line as my other line!! woot woot... THis is Johnnie's b day present fo me!! and my b day present to myself.. wahahah... been waiting to get a new phone for the longest time.. so delayed gratification in this case is WORTH it.. cause i got a really nice phone, nice deal, and got to spend time with johnnie, his gf and annie-san. I was talking to them that i wanna go all out and celebrate my b day on NOv 15th... and all of a sudden Johnnie asked if his bf... will be ther.. and i was like.. eh how does he no??
it was prob GOd's devine time that i was able to talk about this whole deal with Nicole and Johnnie. It's good to know where they stand regarding my predicament... they got my back and fully support me =).

hmm I feel like God is going to reveal somthing big to me this week, especially. Thank GOd school work load is not that heavy this week. I will have more time to focus on GOd. Must spend more devo and family time. GO back in doing the things i need to do and clean my room and make bracelets by the end of this week. Thank God school is not crazy this week.. sighh