Reading the book

Im reading "When God Writes Your Love Story"
where I am at right now... it just seems so much easier to let GOd take control of my love story. Give him the pen to my book and let Him write my love story. Im so tired of feeling the pain, the anger, the hurt, the heart breaks that this world offers because of taking matters into my own hand...
I guess I do reap what I sew. It sucks seeing the guy that I thought was for me being with someone else.. it sucks right now but I do not have any right to possess any emotions about the guy cause he belongs to God.. so all i can do right now is be thankful that He is processing me. He is processing my response and reaction in this situation so that I can have a better reaction regarding this matter in the future. I thank you God that you still accept me the way I am. I thank you that you still love me despite of my sins, my short comings and my wrong choices... I choose to repent today and from now on. I will strive to not rebel against your word. I will put all my effort in being rebellious to sticking to the standards of this world. NO more will i follow the standards of this world regarding dating, regarding walking with you JEsus.

I love you and I want to be with you forever. Feel your presence in my life and experience your blessings that you have in store for me. I thank you that you discipline me because it proves that I a legitamitelly your daughter. Thank you for giving me value and that in your eyes I am more valuable than the most expensive diamond that exist in this world. Thank you for giving the crown of life. Thank you for wrapping your love in my life and watching my every step that I take even though I make a lot of mistakes. Thank you for catching me when I fall and never judging me for what I did wrong but just forgiving me for my past mistake and accepting me where I am at right now.

I know God never waste a hurt. He will use this situation for my good and for the good of others. I am thankful that God wants to use me and bless me. I pray that God gives me the strength to persevere and continue on being a soldier. I pray that I can have the self control to fight off and flee from temptation that the devil throws at me. I am not perfect. I have a lot of flaws, addiction, and wrongs but God is gracious. He gives me all that I need at the right time and place.

I don't want to be over pressured anymore. I don't want to be drained because of all this unnessecarry drama anymore. I don't want to be the cause of other people running away from God. I apologize if I have hurt anyone who is involved in this situation. That is not my intention at all.... Sometimes Love happens... it just comes around... I can't control who I like. I have a right to my emotions but I know that I can't operate on my emotions...
SO with that said... all that has been done in the past stays there... I can't change anything from the past. I can only learn from my mistake, take the good things out of it and continue on being a champion for Christ... Repent and turn from my old ways and forgive myself of the feeling of guilt.

God is a God of second chances and He will continue loving me... so Now I CHOOSE to obey you God. You and no one else. Fear you and no one else... Not to worry about what other people think of me and just be thankful that you surround me with people who cares for me so much that they are willing to give up their time to mentor me, discipline me and just love on me...

Thank you Jesus.