The actual definition of insanity

Doing things over and over again the same way but expecting different result..
THus: me where i'm at= hitting my head against the wall and thinking about what happened over and over again.. and asking myself why i feel like this.
so to not be insane means to not thinking the same way over and over again, accept God's forgiveness and move on.

this is drama. lust fest. craziness. insanity. not important. did i mention craziness yet?
i'm not someone God wants me to become... so tonite.. pergi ke cell... dapet txt. tapi di delete same temen for my own good.. comprende!!

hurt people hurt people.. i say i care but really if i do care then i will let all this go. Just let God take control and do his magic.. but if i don't let him then i will keep on hurting myself and i will keep on hurting the other person. wohh.. simple but such a revelation..
anywys. im paddling to nowhere in my life.. just having temporary happiness that i know in my heart can not last because i just don't feel peace when i think about the future if i keep on going this route....

so wat's it to you if you know who the one is.. to be honest this is something i shouldn't be even playing about in my mind... this is like fire to me right now.. and when I play with fire, i'll get burn. get hurt, get exhausted trying to do this on my own, get distracted during the day at school, in the middle of the nite at home and when im at my most vulnerable moment.

ok. i want to be done. listening to country music sucks cause it reminds me of when i used to hang out with him. thinking about it no bueno so i will stop. I choose to stop because my brain can't take it. my body can't take it. my tear duct can't take it anymore. im done being pushed around and just getting attacked all the time.

so I surrender to you God and make a commitment to let all this go.. not as a show for other people, not to please other people anymore but for you. The only one who truly knows me and loves me unconditionally.

The End... can the old me (my old life) die and let me be a brand new Creature and live the life God has set for me?

Amen. Jesus Thank you for your cross.

goodbye. there will be no more response. there can't be anymore interaction. i can't do anything else for you, with you. i must run to God and make him my God and not u.
i have to do it to really be able to experience God's love and learn to be over my codependency and Love&Relationship addiction issues.
love....EMma