another one

u no a funny thing happened. i was just still in the computer lab. listening to my mp3. (sorry im not one of those people who have ipod =( ). anyways.
it was some Christian music.. and it was just saying come to Jesus.. in the same time i was reading a lyric from the song Words of God speak by Mercy Me..
something inside of me just felt His presence.. it made me laugh but then i just felt so touched and overwhelmed that i couldn't contain it.

took off my headphones.. just took a little breath. sighh. i got too carried away with thinking about so many projects, hw, and studying i still have to do, i forgot to ask God for the wisdom, strenght and His help.
wow.. This is a really good reminder of the Revelation He constantly tells me!

yeas today i smiled =)...


This is what it says from CR> Love & Relationship Addiction...(problem &solution)
THe Problem:
depresion, lack of trust, isolation, unhealty use of love and relationships as means of achieving worth. These are the characteristics of ROmance and Relationship Addictions.

Addicter to "Love" characteristics are:
-Lack of nurtuting and attention when young
-Feeling isolated, detached from parents and family
-OUter facade of "having it all together" to hide internal disintegration
-Mistake intensity for intimacy
-Hidden pain
-Seek to avoid rejection and abandonment at all cost
-Afraid to trust anyone in a relationship
-Inner rage over lack of nurturing, early abandonment
-Depressed
-Highly manipulative and controlling of others
-Perceive attraction, attachment, and sex as basic human needs, as with food and water
-Sense of worthlessness
-Escalating tolerance for high-rish behavior
-Intense need to control self, others, and circumstances
-Presence of other addictive or compulsive problems
-Using others to alter mood or relieve pain
-COntinual questioning of values and lifestyle
-Driven, desperate, frantic personality
-Existence of secret "double life"
-Refusal to acknowledge existence of a problem
-Defining out-of-control behavior as normal
-Defining "wants as "needs"

The Solution
THe goal of recovery is to achieve and maintain sobriety. In most addictions, sobriety can be defined simply by ceasing the unhealthy behaviors, Stopping and staying stopped are the goals. For most types of problems, the slogan "just say no" is appropriate.
Staying sober is more complicated with people addictions. THe aim of recovery cannot be the complete avoidance of all forms of romance and relationships. It is similar to the challenge faced by people addicted to overeating; they cannot simply give up food. Rather, they must learn the difference between healthy and unhealthy eating. They must eliminate the unhealthy while promoting the healthy behavior. In the same way, for those addicted to love, the goal of recovery is not to become a HERMIT LIVING IN THE MOUNTAINS. The goal is to FOSTER HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS AND ELIMINATE UNHEALTHY ONES.

Asking the following questions can help you determine if a particular behavior will contribute to a healthy relationship or lead to addictive behavior.
1. WIll I later have to deny that I did it?
2. Is it self centered?
3. Is it abusive to myself or to others?
4. Is it inconsistent with my values?
5. would I refuse to do it if Christ were standing here with me?
6. Is it an action without and underlying commitment?
7 will I feel better or worse about myself for having done it?
8. Will someone else feel worse for my having done it?
9. Is this a waste of my time or the time of others?
10. Am I doing this to escape painful feelings of reality?

A Yes to any of these questions should be a "red flag" that the behavior being considered may be unhealthy. when romane and relationships processd with these types of dynamics, they are likely to be dysfunctional and addictive.

Sobrierity means establishing and maintaining a balanced lifestyle. At the same time, staying sober is always more than the mere presence or absence of certain behaviors. Sobriety is more than just "not doing" certain things. It involves personal growth. It is not what we avoid, but what we grow toward, that makes sobriety meaningful. As we have seen, growth must occur in several areas of our lives. we must look to our physical health. We must be concerned for our emotiona, social, and mental welfare. SPritual growth must be the foundational block, upon which, all other growth is built and sustainde. Balance is the key. Romance and relationships have been the dominant factors in the life of one addicted to love. Recovery is the time for these relationships to find their rightful and healthy place as a part of the whole person, not as tyrants which control and consume a person.


"I pray that as i continue on this journey of recovery that i can get over my hurts, bad habits, and hang ups. Amen"