the actual start of it all

SO apparently today or tonite is the first day that counts as fasting.
hmmmm.. mixed emotions.. overtly mixed emotions....like no bueno man!! well i know it's the consequences i have to pay but im just gonna say it.. it's exhausting and it sucks.
well it was exhausting so i learned a few key steps that is helpful.. helpful to those reading this blog..wink ..wink.. haha.

anywyas. yeah so i learned to surrender, pray then obey...
those three in order. hmm.. what's your face.. ehehe this is so much easier said then done for me cause im getting to know what i'm like when im pushed under pressure and i used to just rebel and run away, do the opposite thing.
anyways. so i found more clarity that i really wanted...
first when i talked to my spiritual dad, I received from God that this thing that's going on is another way that the devil is trying to take me down in... i was so like mad and relieved that a revelation was given to me. this is like the same attack when i had my car accident. It's not as massive but it was still an attack none the less.

so i understand that i need to stand even stronger. develop perseverance... know that God loves me and forgives me... so i don't need to feel guilty anymore and I can remember that God has died for my sins.
im tired of running my own life. It's time that i hand over the pen of my life and give it over to God so that he can write the most wonderful love story that he has in store for me already.
good nite.