tonite...

why does love have to be so complicated. is it me. is it in my head that i keep on running things over and over and just blaming myself..
i can't help the feeling that i hurt somebody in the process to pursue what it is to be loved.
i am looking for love at the wrong places... it's nice that someone cares so much that he's willing to do anything for me..
then i realize through all this mess, God still loves me. HE is showing me that no matter what i've done, He still loves me anyway. i don't need to keep on blaming myself over and over for the past. i can;t change the pass. what i can do is move on, forgive myself and be satisfied that even though it is really tough right now, I am obeying God.
that is a satisfying feeling in itself... I know God sees me hurting and he doesn't want me to hurt anymore. He wants to heal me of this empty heart of mine... the empty heart that is looking for my dad's love and attention and the love of my Father in heaven.
so tonite eventhough it hurts to remember the memories and to have lost someone i loved, I know God is still here comforting me... and that special guy is still out there loving me.
~God loves me.