heard this song while at school on Pandora.
By Plain White Tees
Friday night's such a beautiful night
Where you going?
I didn't mean to blow it
You're upset, I don't know what I said
But I'm sorry
Don't you give up on me
Take off your jacket
Don't walk out that door
You and me
We should be
Making a memory whenever we're together, yeah
Look at meCan't you se
eWe were meant to be
Making a memory
Don't pretend you're not smiling again
Let's just leave it
You know I didn't mean it
Don't know why we put up such a fight
Over nothing
When we could still be something
Take off your jacket
Don't walk out that door
There's no need to leave anymore, yeah
You and me
We should be
Making a memory whenever we're together, yeah
Look at me
Can't you see
We were meant to be
Making a memory
Can't do this myself
No, I need some help
Wanted some help
Friday night's such a beautiful night
Now you're staying
You and me We should be
Making a memory whenever we're together, yeah
Look at me
Can't you see
We were meant to be
Making a memory
Friday night's such a beautiful night (making a memory)
Now you're saying(Making a memory)
Don't know why we put up such a fight (making a memory)
Over nothing(Making a memory)
Heard this song, and i just thought it had a good tune. Plain white Tees. I remember them, they played at cpp 2 summers ago for the kick off of the start of school but i missed them cause i had to go to cell.. i was sad.. but eh i obeyed God..
1. Question..
Why do we not obey Him, even though we know what we already have to do??
is it cause we reason things out and try to persuade him our point of view/?? He is God and his thoughts are not like mine and His ways are not my ways. Sometimes I still ask myself, what am i doing?? why am i doing this to him?? will he end up hurting in the end?? Do i know better and am i not just choosing God because i am curious. I want to know what happens?? will i end up getting hurt again??
don't know. I pray that as this one week fasting continues, i can really stick to the plan and not comprimise even 1%. That i can keep my eyes on God and completely obey God. Not to feel guilty about what I am doing or who I am with. To not have my parents, mentors, friends disaprove of what I am doing and more importantly to please God with what I am doing and thinking.
AMEN
Friday, October 30, 2009
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
^ ^
grr..
can a mom not trust her daughter to the point of anything that she does, she has to ask the 20 questions of when, where, why.. and who??
wow. thats great.
can a mom not trust her daughter to the point of anything that she does, she has to ask the 20 questions of when, where, why.. and who??
wow. thats great.
Monday, October 26, 2009
LIfe
Sometimes i feel like my life is full of unending tasks.
so much hw to keep up with and cause of my perfectionist character, i want to do things a certain way and i end up doing em last minute...
i don't like to do things last minute but usually it ends up like that.
God is still trying to break that off of me and im thankful my friend reminded me to not be perfect on the project but to get it done and just do my best.
one project i still need to do is not done.. sigh.
exhausted.
sigh. i think about things too much and i realized journaling and cr is a very helpful tool for me.
i got something today about what happened last nite from God.
i know i hear His voice clearly but i end up ignoring Him because i just follow my feelings.
this is a bad feeling to have right now. Must repent and stop looking back at the past.
sigh.
so i need people to talk to... i understand now that we are better together, not just a lone ranger standing alone.. and it says in the bible 3 chords is better than one..
that just reminds me that how ever strong we think we might be, we will still need each other's support to make it through the day and to obey Him
so much hw to keep up with and cause of my perfectionist character, i want to do things a certain way and i end up doing em last minute...
i don't like to do things last minute but usually it ends up like that.
God is still trying to break that off of me and im thankful my friend reminded me to not be perfect on the project but to get it done and just do my best.
one project i still need to do is not done.. sigh.
exhausted.
sigh. i think about things too much and i realized journaling and cr is a very helpful tool for me.
i got something today about what happened last nite from God.
i know i hear His voice clearly but i end up ignoring Him because i just follow my feelings.
this is a bad feeling to have right now. Must repent and stop looking back at the past.
sigh.
so i need people to talk to... i understand now that we are better together, not just a lone ranger standing alone.. and it says in the bible 3 chords is better than one..
that just reminds me that how ever strong we think we might be, we will still need each other's support to make it through the day and to obey Him
Saturday, October 24, 2009
wow
today... is a good. day.. that's how each day should be.
It was a really good experience to just start the day off with reading God's word. I haven't done it in a while. My mind felt clearer even though i was still sleepy. I was reminded to start my day off by putting on God's armor evryday before i do anything once i got off my bed. That's why it was so much easier for the devil to attack my thoughts. I should make a check list of what to do hha!
man so thankful my friend helped me with spanish. i would be lost without her. the battle of my thoughts is only half the fight in taking the test for spanish this tuesday.. ekk.. must raise my grade up.
OHh practiced music at church. dude i realize man i shouldn't put so much pressure on myself to be perfect just by seeing my friend experience it. she was so stressed out about doing things so perfect that she basicly missed out in enjoying singing the songs and just worshipping. My mom pointed out that im like her sometimes.. bwabhaha. i get mad easily like her. uhh no bueno. i didnt say anything to mom cause i knew she was right heheh.
anyways, i was thinkin about what devo said and i was just saying to myself if i was ready to let go of my past. I guess im too much of a perfectionist so that i don't let myself experience things in the present that reminds me of the past. it's so foolish of me to be afraid of letting things happen in the future that might have reminded of memories from the past.. if that makes sense.
The past can't do anything to me if I don't let it. it's only a memory. All i can do is move on, learn from it and not have my focus on the past... soo today i learned to really let go. Yes i'm not perfect and i will never be but I have to accept myself where I am at and see my own potential. God is good for sure. He sees me how I can be and not where I am at right now. so i will take a deep breath and learn to Let God heal my pains. Not an easy thing to do but with time, I am learning to do it!
so glad i got to go home earlier from practice then i would usually do. went home and on my front door, saw a note from my neighbor. It said my dogs were barkin for 4 hours.. bwahs. wat can i do?? dude wear an ear plug man!! j/k... it's prob cause they killed a cat or cause of the event at Fairplex, who knows.
oii.. now off to do hw. jeezzzz.. thank God for boat loads of work, if not i would be bored =)
arcadia is havin those october carnival.. yeah!! time for some cotton candy! the city of arcadia is rich, they post up adds about the carnival on FB. wow.. way to go online arcadia!
man, my mentor was right about what she said to me.. what she said to prove her on. dang it!! i dont like that! but owh well.s.
~i want boba... and some 24 hour sleeping time!!
<3...............................................................................................................]>
bwahaha.....
It was a really good experience to just start the day off with reading God's word. I haven't done it in a while. My mind felt clearer even though i was still sleepy. I was reminded to start my day off by putting on God's armor evryday before i do anything once i got off my bed. That's why it was so much easier for the devil to attack my thoughts. I should make a check list of what to do hha!
man so thankful my friend helped me with spanish. i would be lost without her. the battle of my thoughts is only half the fight in taking the test for spanish this tuesday.. ekk.. must raise my grade up.
OHh practiced music at church. dude i realize man i shouldn't put so much pressure on myself to be perfect just by seeing my friend experience it. she was so stressed out about doing things so perfect that she basicly missed out in enjoying singing the songs and just worshipping. My mom pointed out that im like her sometimes.. bwabhaha. i get mad easily like her. uhh no bueno. i didnt say anything to mom cause i knew she was right heheh.
anyways, i was thinkin about what devo said and i was just saying to myself if i was ready to let go of my past. I guess im too much of a perfectionist so that i don't let myself experience things in the present that reminds me of the past. it's so foolish of me to be afraid of letting things happen in the future that might have reminded of memories from the past.. if that makes sense.
The past can't do anything to me if I don't let it. it's only a memory. All i can do is move on, learn from it and not have my focus on the past... soo today i learned to really let go. Yes i'm not perfect and i will never be but I have to accept myself where I am at and see my own potential. God is good for sure. He sees me how I can be and not where I am at right now. so i will take a deep breath and learn to Let God heal my pains. Not an easy thing to do but with time, I am learning to do it!
so glad i got to go home earlier from practice then i would usually do. went home and on my front door, saw a note from my neighbor. It said my dogs were barkin for 4 hours.. bwahs. wat can i do?? dude wear an ear plug man!! j/k... it's prob cause they killed a cat or cause of the event at Fairplex, who knows.
oii.. now off to do hw. jeezzzz.. thank God for boat loads of work, if not i would be bored =)
arcadia is havin those october carnival.. yeah!! time for some cotton candy! the city of arcadia is rich, they post up adds about the carnival on FB. wow.. way to go online arcadia!
man, my mentor was right about what she said to me.. what she said to prove her on. dang it!! i dont like that! but owh well.s.
~i want boba... and some 24 hour sleeping time!!
<3...............................................................................................................]>
bwahaha.....
=)
that was funny.
got to start the day off going to chiropractor=starting my day off with a back that is not tight.
always good.
went home, had plans to go here and there for school and church later on (music practice) but then i got lazy.
laid down in bed and read the Bible. turned to 1 corinthians. Read the chapter abour Marriage. opened up my eyes as to God's rule for marriage and for relationships. skipped around to other chapters and just read about having God's spirit and that He gave it to us freely. I felt so honored. he trusts me that much to give me a holy spirit.
Then read about being holy. This gets me everytime. Even though i read it time and time again, this chapter talked about sacrificing my body for HIs glory. Just to throw in the mix of devo and some stuff I read from the BIBLe, the one thing that I am being reminded of right now is to be holy. Not to let the devil go into my head and tempt me of what i did in the past. Keeping me from looking ahead and just focus on the past and throw a pitty party and blame myself on and on.
Today i found freedom and a new renewal way of thinking. Thanks to God.
off to do projects, taking people's picture for fashion forecasting in arcadia mall.. hehe!! mall...
man.. love my major!
<3... country songs still makes me laugh.. how the words just reminds me of the things i was thinking about you..bewahha..
got to start the day off going to chiropractor=starting my day off with a back that is not tight.
always good.
went home, had plans to go here and there for school and church later on (music practice) but then i got lazy.
laid down in bed and read the Bible. turned to 1 corinthians. Read the chapter abour Marriage. opened up my eyes as to God's rule for marriage and for relationships. skipped around to other chapters and just read about having God's spirit and that He gave it to us freely. I felt so honored. he trusts me that much to give me a holy spirit.
Then read about being holy. This gets me everytime. Even though i read it time and time again, this chapter talked about sacrificing my body for HIs glory. Just to throw in the mix of devo and some stuff I read from the BIBLe, the one thing that I am being reminded of right now is to be holy. Not to let the devil go into my head and tempt me of what i did in the past. Keeping me from looking ahead and just focus on the past and throw a pitty party and blame myself on and on.
Today i found freedom and a new renewal way of thinking. Thanks to God.
off to do projects, taking people's picture for fashion forecasting in arcadia mall.. hehe!! mall...
man.. love my major!
<3... country songs still makes me laugh.. how the words just reminds me of the things i was thinking about you..bewahha..
what a lovely day
"Father God i pray that you keep a hold of my friend. I am so thankful that you keep on taking me back even though i fail so many times. I thank you that you always forgive me whenever I rebel against you. I know i have a lot of shortcomings and flaws still. That even though i think i'm all right on the outside, you know how I truly am on the inside and out. I thank you that you see me as how I can be and not as how I am right now. Thank you that i can experience your unconditional love and that I pray I can keep my eyes on you at all times. For me to ask you first whenever I face a problem."
Since the beginning of this fasting, im so thankful that the devotion has been allign with what I have to do. THis one month theme at church of spritual discipline is no coincidence at all. Im so glad i have a guidance from God's word. I didn't get to read today's devo but when i was in school during break time i got to crack open the bible for a few minutes. I asked God which chapter to open and he lead me to 2 Corinthians 6. I read the part about not mixing yolk with unbelievers. wow... that was such a strong wake up call...
I don't have to elaborate.. but at where I am at right now, I know i don't want to commit myself to a person until they have a strong foundation in Him. I'm not asking for much but if I'm going to spend an eternity with that person, i'm entitled to request certain things to God from that person no?? hehe... yes handful I am!!! I am handful for a reason. I don't want to settle, i want to receive the best from God. I already know all these values but now it's time for me to actually use it and not just throw it all out the window.
i got some visions today from Him.. i'm not sure though if it is my own imagination or if it's from Him... i still need to pray about it. I guess for me to really accept God's truth, i have to be willing to let go of the fear of getting hurt and really let God be apart of everything in my life, not just some of it. That's the hardest thing to do. I say in the morning that I hand over the pen to Him, but in certain instances my behavior is still to take control and just think on my own. This phase of my life really teaches me to come to Him first and just wait on Him. I'm finding more peacefulness in my thought life and even though i still have my moments when i get all over the place but I'm learning to calm down and just take it easy.
still to this day, country songs make me laugh esp the song that goes "life is good again" and somethin bout his a** in the sand and beer in the somthin... hhaah can't remember the words.
like the tunes and the lyrics though. just made me smile cause it always reminds me of the person who shared the song with me! =) wow.. never knew how deep country song was. gotta go to a country music concert one of these days, bet it's gonna be lots of fun.
other things i want to do on a side note:
DISNEYLAND.. happiest place on earth
Sea World
The mountains, Asuza canyon and Arcadia =)
uhh sushi restaurants
uhh soon fashion shows for Hello Kitty's aniv. and Betty Johnson exhibition on Nov 14th!!
sigh so many events.. so little time and hw to do =) i wish i was super woman and get to do all my projects done in one day! haah. so delusional.
anyways....
Got to hang out with my friend who's technically on a leave from the army... somtin went wrong with her paperwork or somthin. sucks for her. seriously. didn't know there was a lollicup at Pomona so she took me there... my chiropractor fixed my back and loosen it after i was done with school, that was a good feeling... felt drained after a long's day of school, sewing class and going to the chiropractor..
got to go to Borders to get a gift for my friends b day. Forgot how much i like bookstore. It's so full of books i say i want to read but will prob never will. Saw some sewing books that i liked, egh pretty expensive too!!
anyways wanted to watch a movie after going to the bookstore but i was beat already! then got to see Ugly Betty, or the last 15 minutes of it. I missed watching that show, still one good show that sorts of portrays the fashion world. I hope that's wat it looks like when i've arrived in my career path! I pray that it will look like that!
oii i think day to day, is a brand new day and even though i miss him sometimes, I'm starting to develop endurance and persevere!! never knew i could come to this place but i know God is helping me. Still have to surrender the future cause I don't know what is going to happen a month from now or even a year from now. Only God can change people. Only He Himself can change the bad in me and turn it upside down and inside out to glorify Him..
i think just ramblin on now cause im pooped out!
nite nite. ... good to know everythings under Control and in God's hand!
=) <3
Since the beginning of this fasting, im so thankful that the devotion has been allign with what I have to do. THis one month theme at church of spritual discipline is no coincidence at all. Im so glad i have a guidance from God's word. I didn't get to read today's devo but when i was in school during break time i got to crack open the bible for a few minutes. I asked God which chapter to open and he lead me to 2 Corinthians 6. I read the part about not mixing yolk with unbelievers. wow... that was such a strong wake up call...
I don't have to elaborate.. but at where I am at right now, I know i don't want to commit myself to a person until they have a strong foundation in Him. I'm not asking for much but if I'm going to spend an eternity with that person, i'm entitled to request certain things to God from that person no?? hehe... yes handful I am!!! I am handful for a reason. I don't want to settle, i want to receive the best from God. I already know all these values but now it's time for me to actually use it and not just throw it all out the window.
i got some visions today from Him.. i'm not sure though if it is my own imagination or if it's from Him... i still need to pray about it. I guess for me to really accept God's truth, i have to be willing to let go of the fear of getting hurt and really let God be apart of everything in my life, not just some of it. That's the hardest thing to do. I say in the morning that I hand over the pen to Him, but in certain instances my behavior is still to take control and just think on my own. This phase of my life really teaches me to come to Him first and just wait on Him. I'm finding more peacefulness in my thought life and even though i still have my moments when i get all over the place but I'm learning to calm down and just take it easy.
still to this day, country songs make me laugh esp the song that goes "life is good again" and somethin bout his a** in the sand and beer in the somthin... hhaah can't remember the words.
like the tunes and the lyrics though. just made me smile cause it always reminds me of the person who shared the song with me! =) wow.. never knew how deep country song was. gotta go to a country music concert one of these days, bet it's gonna be lots of fun.
other things i want to do on a side note:
DISNEYLAND.. happiest place on earth
Sea World
The mountains, Asuza canyon and Arcadia =)
uhh sushi restaurants
uhh soon fashion shows for Hello Kitty's aniv. and Betty Johnson exhibition on Nov 14th!!
sigh so many events.. so little time and hw to do =) i wish i was super woman and get to do all my projects done in one day! haah. so delusional.
anyways....
Got to hang out with my friend who's technically on a leave from the army... somtin went wrong with her paperwork or somthin. sucks for her. seriously. didn't know there was a lollicup at Pomona so she took me there... my chiropractor fixed my back and loosen it after i was done with school, that was a good feeling... felt drained after a long's day of school, sewing class and going to the chiropractor..
got to go to Borders to get a gift for my friends b day. Forgot how much i like bookstore. It's so full of books i say i want to read but will prob never will. Saw some sewing books that i liked, egh pretty expensive too!!
anyways wanted to watch a movie after going to the bookstore but i was beat already! then got to see Ugly Betty, or the last 15 minutes of it. I missed watching that show, still one good show that sorts of portrays the fashion world. I hope that's wat it looks like when i've arrived in my career path! I pray that it will look like that!
oii i think day to day, is a brand new day and even though i miss him sometimes, I'm starting to develop endurance and persevere!! never knew i could come to this place but i know God is helping me. Still have to surrender the future cause I don't know what is going to happen a month from now or even a year from now. Only God can change people. Only He Himself can change the bad in me and turn it upside down and inside out to glorify Him..
i think just ramblin on now cause im pooped out!
nite nite. ... good to know everythings under Control and in God's hand!
=) <3
Friday, October 23, 2009
friday!!!
oh. so much things to do...!!! hw and hw..
it's so funny how when I listen to country music, i can just relate it to what's going in my life..
im thinking wth.. man?? this song knows me..
but then today i got a text from me spritual mommie.. she reminded me to be thankful that im going through a process and that Jesus doesn't give me a quick-with the snap of the finger- recovery.
It's tough at some moments but then I think to myself, when I look back at this time in my life in the future, i will think, man i survived hell and back... so I can accomplish more things that are difficult than this (with Jesus's help of course).
The most important thing i have to focus on is Jesus (keeping my eyes on Him), school cause got boatloads of work to do, and me familia.. sigh.
some good things some bad things.. but i'll take it all cause I can survive everyday with His help.
it's so funny how when I listen to country music, i can just relate it to what's going in my life..
im thinking wth.. man?? this song knows me..
but then today i got a text from me spritual mommie.. she reminded me to be thankful that im going through a process and that Jesus doesn't give me a quick-with the snap of the finger- recovery.
It's tough at some moments but then I think to myself, when I look back at this time in my life in the future, i will think, man i survived hell and back... so I can accomplish more things that are difficult than this (with Jesus's help of course).
The most important thing i have to focus on is Jesus (keeping my eyes on Him), school cause got boatloads of work to do, and me familia.. sigh.
some good things some bad things.. but i'll take it all cause I can survive everyday with His help.
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