What can i say.
there has been a lot of changes in my life lately.
The first and foremost change that I am glad about is my major.. i love LOVE it.
Apparel Marketing & Management. I never experience how good it is to live in God's will until now.
Yeah i was stubborn by not trusting God.. i had a lot of issues that He was and is still breaking off from me but I am sooo freed of my old wine skin. WHen i wake up in the morning, i'm just so excited about going to school, about life even though sometimes I wake up still all sleepy and hmm groggy..
My mindset has been changed.. i don't know if anyone can testify to this kinda feeling.. but if you never ever have felt like it.. wooww.. you're misssinn out..
well yah.. hmm got's lots to say but this story tops all of my other random stories so I will just leave the blog.. at this and leave you wanting more.. dahhaahha...
Wednesday, April 15, 2009
Thursday, March 5, 2009
what a month
ALl i have to say about this month is that it's been a roller coaster ride. I don't know whats going on but what all my friends have been telling me is that what ever happens, God is still in control. He will work all things to those who love Him. I will not be tempted beyond what I can't bear but when I am tempted, He is good and will provide a way out and stand under it. something like that
siighhh so let me tell you what have been going on with me
i have been going back and forth to the hospital. Since September of 08 I noticed a lump/bump in the back of my ear. I found it was my lymph node. What it does is it enclosed any substance (usually that I am allergic to) in a vessicle as a defense mechanism.
I kept on going back and forth to Kaiser Permanente from Nov to January. My doctor at HEad and Neck department was Dr. Kim and she gave me 2 months worth of antibiotics. I think that really played apart in lowering my immune system. That and i really did not have a good eating habit with the busy schedule i had for work, school, and nite classes like crown financial and celebrate recovery during the fall quarter.
I guess i kinda let the sickness entertain me. Meaning like I kinda enjoyed somewhat that i had this lump thing behind my ear. At this point there was 2 bumps. So after 2 rounds of antibiotics, the doctor told me to have a CT scan and pathology. sigh.. so before I went to the hospital to get my CT scan, i drank theraflu because I had a little cold. Well after the CT scan, I felt a bit drugged up because they had injected a lot of iodine in me very fast, at a very short time. Mixed with the theraflu, my body was really wozzy and not fully functioning. I went to my car and drove home though. Before I left the parking lot I decided to just call my friend to see if she wanted to hang out and what caught my attention when i was talking to her is that she said i should've asked someone to drive me to the hospital. i thought in my head, well that's true but reasoned out that well I went to the hospital before and drove myself. I should be fine driving myself...
siighhh so let me tell you what have been going on with me
i have been going back and forth to the hospital. Since September of 08 I noticed a lump/bump in the back of my ear. I found it was my lymph node. What it does is it enclosed any substance (usually that I am allergic to) in a vessicle as a defense mechanism.
I kept on going back and forth to Kaiser Permanente from Nov to January. My doctor at HEad and Neck department was Dr. Kim and she gave me 2 months worth of antibiotics. I think that really played apart in lowering my immune system. That and i really did not have a good eating habit with the busy schedule i had for work, school, and nite classes like crown financial and celebrate recovery during the fall quarter.
I guess i kinda let the sickness entertain me. Meaning like I kinda enjoyed somewhat that i had this lump thing behind my ear. At this point there was 2 bumps. So after 2 rounds of antibiotics, the doctor told me to have a CT scan and pathology. sigh.. so before I went to the hospital to get my CT scan, i drank theraflu because I had a little cold. Well after the CT scan, I felt a bit drugged up because they had injected a lot of iodine in me very fast, at a very short time. Mixed with the theraflu, my body was really wozzy and not fully functioning. I went to my car and drove home though. Before I left the parking lot I decided to just call my friend to see if she wanted to hang out and what caught my attention when i was talking to her is that she said i should've asked someone to drive me to the hospital. i thought in my head, well that's true but reasoned out that well I went to the hospital before and drove myself. I should be fine driving myself...
...continued blog on MArch 10th, 2009
to make a long story very short.. things happened that made me very sad. I lost a car that God gave me. I named it Gilbert cause I thought that the shape and color of the car fit well with that name. I realized that yeah it is sad to have all these things happened to me but I realized an even more important lesson from reading the Bible last month.
I was reading about Job and what I learned from this chapter in the Bible is that He still gave thanks to the Lord eventhough there was so many freak accidents that happened to his family. His response to all the problems that was going on in His life was to rejoice and Glorify God. He gave thanks, tore open his robe, shaved his head and kneeled down to acknowledge that GOd is still good. WOOWW after I read that, I thought to myself man I have been giving such a horibble response. If Job can give thanks when he went through soo much more things than me, I shouldn't be stuck in this rut of self-pity and being sad! A light bulb moment came on.
sigh there's been a lot more stuff going on during these few weeks but i will leave that for a later blogging.
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
simply..awesome.. then weird day... :)
so yesterday was a really great but weird day.
i got to talking with this top top counselor in cal poly for Apparel Marketing and MAnagement./
the downside is that it's not a design school of course but it does teach the ups and downs of the fashion industry...of the whole business side...
etc.. so then the professor showed me around the classrooms. there was this part where all the sewing machine was. they use JUkI sewing machine!!! which is one of the top sewing machines... woww.. and then he showed me around to other technologies in the major. i was high in clouds 9... it was soo cool.
then i went to the parking lot and prepared myself to drive. actually i was looking for somthing and i didnt find it. it took me so long to decide just to go home once i knew i couldn't find what i was looking for.
so i backed out of the parking lot and noticed that the car next to me kinda parked too close to me and hoped that they werent waiting for me to pull out to get out of their car..
so i pulled out and realized it was someone i know.. i was like wooow thats soo weird.. i no the person but i don't really talk to her..
so yeah.
it was weird.. as heck.
the good thing about that day though i got to know about the AMM major. so i made a deal with GOd.. if theres another car chase again tonight.. which would make it 3 times in a row, i would take it as GOd saying i should take a double major in cal poly.. hehe.
cool beans.. !!
i got to talking with this top top counselor in cal poly for Apparel Marketing and MAnagement./
the downside is that it's not a design school of course but it does teach the ups and downs of the fashion industry...of the whole business side...
etc.. so then the professor showed me around the classrooms. there was this part where all the sewing machine was. they use JUkI sewing machine!!! which is one of the top sewing machines... woww.. and then he showed me around to other technologies in the major. i was high in clouds 9... it was soo cool.
then i went to the parking lot and prepared myself to drive. actually i was looking for somthing and i didnt find it. it took me so long to decide just to go home once i knew i couldn't find what i was looking for.
so i backed out of the parking lot and noticed that the car next to me kinda parked too close to me and hoped that they werent waiting for me to pull out to get out of their car..
so i pulled out and realized it was someone i know.. i was like wooow thats soo weird.. i no the person but i don't really talk to her..
so yeah.
it was weird.. as heck.
the good thing about that day though i got to know about the AMM major. so i made a deal with GOd.. if theres another car chase again tonight.. which would make it 3 times in a row, i would take it as GOd saying i should take a double major in cal poly.. hehe.
cool beans.. !!
Wednesday, February 4, 2009
2nd day blogging
hehe so second time blogging.
i went to a prophetic conference and will type later of what was disccussed.
all i know is that the guy said asians will rise up in the next 3 years.. yay
i went to a prophetic conference and will type later of what was disccussed.
all i know is that the guy said asians will rise up in the next 3 years.. yay
Friday, January 30, 2009
the first day of blogging
so i have never blogged like this in my life.. well there was that phase of blogging before i signed up with myspace and facebook but i forgot what the program is called..
anyways.. my day have been a pretty long one.. to think about it.. since JAnuary 6th, my weeks have been full of events to say the least. It's been filled with problems, challenges, sadness, happiness and gladness.
God is soo good. To think back about what happened with my car accident, it's still a painful memory but I can honestly say that in my life GOd exists and helped me through my problems. I was going through such a griefing moment but i couldn't discern that specific feeling becauce i had a lot of other things in my mind. !st week after the accident i think i just felt all drugged up from the medicine i took for my cold and the effects after having a ct scan. They injected me with a high dose of iodine at a very quick amount of time. it was such a shock to my body that i felt the whole week after the accident, my body just needed to recoupe to get it back into its normal mode.
then 3rd week of january came.. welll starting monday.. i had to wake up super early at 5 ishh and couldnt sleep the nite before or the nights before that too..
i guess my chest really hurt and when i sleep on my back, the gravity just created more pressure that it was all i can feel when i lay down. ummm. so yeah that week was terrible but I just held on to GOd's promises. He was trying to teach me a lesson but me being me, traumatized from the accident, having painful whiplash side effects, and just stressing out about if i could fail my class that i took last year...etc.. was just streesing my brain out even more.. if you were to diagnose me, i think i was in the borderline of craziness..
so that week, i read devotions day and nite. I journalled so much becuase i got so much out of devotions just from my day to day activites and i needed to realease all those thoughts i was thinking at the time..the devotion theme for that week was to GIVE the BEST..
meanind GOd required from me that I just give my best. i don't have to give my most perfect work because then i would just produce the same quality of work over and over and never improve...
that week was such a revelation of why i am the way i am right now.. ok so .. i found out.. my external perfectionist image was a character trait that my dad has and it passed down to me i guess.. i learned from him to give a perfect result whenever i do anything just by his enforcement of words since i was small i guess.. i don't really know..
the reason i found out was becuase i heard my mom talking about my dad and how he always wants things to be perfext.. lol.. so the light bulb came on in my head..
second.. hmm i like stability cause ok,.. my parents being the leader of the church.. my dad's a pastor and my mom of course the pastor's wife, crazy things would just come up about the church while i go about my day like doing hw, going to school or just concentrating on my own thing. i felt like it just disrupted and created a tension/stress to my thoughts cause the way my mom would say those church problem is by having a loud tone of voice and with worriness..
of course me being a kid, i react to what my mom would say.. so i tend to stress out too and start thinking.. hmm so what can be fixed regarding those problems or why are those people so crazy like that, that they do foolish things.. etc...
aww also God was teaching me that cleanliness equals healtiness.. haha does that makes sense?
i basicly cleaned everything in my room and moved all the furniture and redecorated everything. i found out the reason my lymph node was swollen was because of a cat that got trapped in my room and it had left something in my closet that made me allergic to the air and evrything in my room. my dog peed in my room too when i let him in and i couldn't figure out the exact place so i had to clean and steam the carpet like 2-3 times for a week.
yeah i really feel like He wants me to repent and is really helping me to repent but also clean me out spiritually and physically (my room).
so He is really working on me inside and outside.. cause whatever is inside me will be reflected on the outside. I can say this week that I am really thankful that GOd cleaned me out and taught me a very important lesson starting at the beginning of the year.... so
i pray for all you guys who are reading this too, to really be aware what GOd is trying to do in each of our lifes. This is a really crucial time in our lifetime to seriously wake up, get up from our slumber and rise to the challenge and calling God has set for us!!!!
He really did woke me up of my sins of my bad habits so that I can do His will, be able to obey God whole heartedly..
pheww.. that was a lot of stuff.. to talk about.. more sharing to come..
from this week's devotion. "Blessed People"...!!!!
anyways.. my day have been a pretty long one.. to think about it.. since JAnuary 6th, my weeks have been full of events to say the least. It's been filled with problems, challenges, sadness, happiness and gladness.
God is soo good. To think back about what happened with my car accident, it's still a painful memory but I can honestly say that in my life GOd exists and helped me through my problems. I was going through such a griefing moment but i couldn't discern that specific feeling becauce i had a lot of other things in my mind. !st week after the accident i think i just felt all drugged up from the medicine i took for my cold and the effects after having a ct scan. They injected me with a high dose of iodine at a very quick amount of time. it was such a shock to my body that i felt the whole week after the accident, my body just needed to recoupe to get it back into its normal mode.
then 3rd week of january came.. welll starting monday.. i had to wake up super early at 5 ishh and couldnt sleep the nite before or the nights before that too..
i guess my chest really hurt and when i sleep on my back, the gravity just created more pressure that it was all i can feel when i lay down. ummm. so yeah that week was terrible but I just held on to GOd's promises. He was trying to teach me a lesson but me being me, traumatized from the accident, having painful whiplash side effects, and just stressing out about if i could fail my class that i took last year...etc.. was just streesing my brain out even more.. if you were to diagnose me, i think i was in the borderline of craziness..
so that week, i read devotions day and nite. I journalled so much becuase i got so much out of devotions just from my day to day activites and i needed to realease all those thoughts i was thinking at the time..the devotion theme for that week was to GIVE the BEST..
meanind GOd required from me that I just give my best. i don't have to give my most perfect work because then i would just produce the same quality of work over and over and never improve...
that week was such a revelation of why i am the way i am right now.. ok so .. i found out.. my external perfectionist image was a character trait that my dad has and it passed down to me i guess.. i learned from him to give a perfect result whenever i do anything just by his enforcement of words since i was small i guess.. i don't really know..
the reason i found out was becuase i heard my mom talking about my dad and how he always wants things to be perfext.. lol.. so the light bulb came on in my head..
second.. hmm i like stability cause ok,.. my parents being the leader of the church.. my dad's a pastor and my mom of course the pastor's wife, crazy things would just come up about the church while i go about my day like doing hw, going to school or just concentrating on my own thing. i felt like it just disrupted and created a tension/stress to my thoughts cause the way my mom would say those church problem is by having a loud tone of voice and with worriness..
of course me being a kid, i react to what my mom would say.. so i tend to stress out too and start thinking.. hmm so what can be fixed regarding those problems or why are those people so crazy like that, that they do foolish things.. etc...
aww also God was teaching me that cleanliness equals healtiness.. haha does that makes sense?
i basicly cleaned everything in my room and moved all the furniture and redecorated everything. i found out the reason my lymph node was swollen was because of a cat that got trapped in my room and it had left something in my closet that made me allergic to the air and evrything in my room. my dog peed in my room too when i let him in and i couldn't figure out the exact place so i had to clean and steam the carpet like 2-3 times for a week.
yeah i really feel like He wants me to repent and is really helping me to repent but also clean me out spiritually and physically (my room).
so He is really working on me inside and outside.. cause whatever is inside me will be reflected on the outside. I can say this week that I am really thankful that GOd cleaned me out and taught me a very important lesson starting at the beginning of the year.... so
i pray for all you guys who are reading this too, to really be aware what GOd is trying to do in each of our lifes. This is a really crucial time in our lifetime to seriously wake up, get up from our slumber and rise to the challenge and calling God has set for us!!!!
He really did woke me up of my sins of my bad habits so that I can do His will, be able to obey God whole heartedly..
pheww.. that was a lot of stuff.. to talk about.. more sharing to come..
from this week's devotion. "Blessed People"...!!!!
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